Ryan's Second Day in Brazil

After Ryan’s exciting first day in Manaus, it was time to go into action. Ryan was up by 5:00 a.m. and even though the hotel restaurant didn’t open until 6:00, the hotel manager called the restaurant staff and they had Ryan something to eat by 5:15. Its obvious that whether Ryan is in Manaus or Cleveland, the world stops for Ryan.

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After having a breakfast for a champion, he was taken away in a 40 passenger bus which had been rented just for him. His destination was top secret but one thing we can know, there was plenty to eat. While the details of the mission can not be shared, it did involve construction block, concrete and mortar. Who knows, maybe Ryan even worked in the sun a little. Who are we kidding, Ryan get hot and sweaty. Not Ryan!

That night when Ryan returned to the hotel, an amazing thing happened. The bus driver could not seem to find the Hotel Mono_o. While all seemed to be lost, Ryan knew what happened. While he was gone, the hotel had changed the name to the Hotel R_an. At this point, we can assume they wanted to call it the Hotel Ryan but didn’t have a “y” for the sign. Who would have guessed what was to happen that night though? We certainly didn’t.

While walking to the Manaus Opera House, dressed in a James Bond-like suit, a woman appeared out of the darkness as Ryan walked through “Lovers Park”. She had dark skin, dark eyes, long hair and a deep feminine voice. She said, “Ryyyan, I’ve heard about you”. Ryan, not unaccustomed to situations like this one, was calm, cool and collected and responded “I’m not surprised”. After a brief Brazilian kiss on the check, they proceeded toward the Opera House. Ryan, always having an interest in getting something to eat, stopped at a nearby pizza restaurant, and the two sipped wine and had a double cheese, pepperoni pizza.

As they were eating, the sound of a helicopter began to create a disturbance in the area. All were afraid except Ryan. He knew either the helicopter was coming to give him a ride back to the hotel or someone was out to kill him. Either way, he had it under control.

Unfortunately, someone was coming to kill him. Ryan, having a great sense of the unknown, sprang into action. He told his lady to move along or she would be killed. She listened and as soon as she was out of sight, gun shoots rang out. Ryan, thinking quickly, hide behind the extra large, double cheese, pepperoni pizza.

Once the helicopter landed, men dressed in green military outfits poured out of the aircraft. Looking high and low, they could not find Ryan. Finally, one of the men shouted out, “Did you see that pepperoni move?” They had found Ryan and it appeared all was lost. Could Ryan find a way out of this deadly situation? Could he find a way to avoid being killed? Of course, you know the answer. Remember, its Ryan.

Ryan, just happened to have six Ninja stars in his pocket. Like Oddjob in the James Bond movie “Goldfinger”, Ryan proceeded to kill all but one of the men by throwing the Ninja stars and piercing the hearts of each one. The last soldier faced Ryan in one-to-one combat. Having only the pizza left as a weapon, Ryan rolled the pizza into a roll, and hits the soldier with a mighty blow. Always thinking ahead, Ryan had ordered an extra thick crust. With the soldier on the ground, Ryan unraveled the cheese from the pizza and tied the soldier up.

After all the soldiers were either killed or captured, one Brazilian man began to clap and before its all over, everyone was clapping and shouting, “Ryan, Ryan, Ryan”. As we know, Brazilians love to celebrate and the area around the Opera House became a big party with a Brazilian band playing the country’s favorite tunes.

One might say, what an amazing chain of events. Actually, its just another day in the legend of Ryan. After all, it is all about Ryan.

It's All About Ryan!!!

Ryan was called into FBI service last week for an important mission in Manaus, Brazil. Little did he know, he was entering the Amazonian region of Brazil, a land of crocagators, anacondas, piranhas, monkeys and cougars. If you knew Ryan though, it would be no problem because he always seems to have the right answer.

Ryan's first challenge was his trip to the region. Ryan started his journey from the national capital after speaking with the President. The President was supposed to be in Chicago but heard Ryan needed him and rushed back to Washington.

After entering the plane, the airlines decided to look for eight bags to ensure Ryan's safety while traveling. While the passengers became disturbed with the two hour delay, they soon understood because the inspection was due to Ryan. At that point, everyone was relieved and was happy to wait.

Once the plane left the ground, all the passengers came and gave Ryan a kiss and one passenger went as far as to shine his shoes. The pilot, understanding Ryan was on the phone, said "Drinks for Everyone" and all was well.

When the plane arrived in Brasilia, Ryan missed his flight and became very unhappy. He called the airline for assistance. When Francisco, the Delta Helpline representative said "I don't know how to help you", Ryan said "YOU WILL HELP ME" with a voice of authority. Once Ryan explained who he was, the representative immediately got on the phone with the president of Delta who immediately sent his private plane to the rescue.

When Ryan arrived in Manaus, he was greeted by the Brazilian Welcoming Committee who showered him with lilly pad flowers that only bloom at night.

Ryan proceeded to the luxurious Hotel Mono_o where his room was furnished with a welcome basket including all the toilet paper he can use and two trash cans for extra paper. Also included was a large sign which stated, "Do not touch the top of the shower, Electrical Warning". Ryan, always making the most of it, turned on the air conditioner to level "17" which brought the room to a humid 85 degrees. While Ryan sweated, he turned on the television and found CNN in Portuguese. Again, always wanting to make the best of it, he watched while not understanding for the next two hours.

His phone rang suddenly and Ryan found that all the locals had heard he was in town. Wanting to please Ryan, an Amazonian boat ride was arranged with representatives from all over South America and the Far East sent their Ms. Universe representatives and their mothers to welcome Ryan. He was pleased to be welcomed in this manner.

When arriving at the boat dock, the captain was so happy to have Ryan on "his" boat, he decided in a quick moment to change the name from The Queen of Brazil to The Legend of Ryan.

Throughout the boatride, it was obvious all the representatives and mothers wanted to be close to Ryan. But you know, who can blame them because after all, it's all about Ryan!!!